“You are an 8,” the on call doctor in triage declared. “Praise the Lord,” I replied. “What are you thinking for pain medication?” she asked. “I’ve made it this far. Let’s just do this and get him out of there,” I replied. The sun began to rise as we got situated in the labor and delivery room. I paced the floor, stopping to breathe through the contractions. I was ready for him. I was hopeful he would just fall out. The doctor was ready. They were sure he was coming within the hour. The contractions got stronger, but I just had no desire to push. The bath tub kept calling my name. The doctor was hesitant to deliver a baby in the bath tub, but they let me climb in.  The calming waves of warm water over my belly as the nurse labored with me felt amazing. The pain was relentless though. I couldn’t get comfortable. After what felt like quite some time, I was still an 8. Defeated. I felt so frustrated. While this went on for longer than anyone anticipated, eventually my little mister positioned himself to meet the world. I stared at the ceiling, transported to a different world altogether, as I pushed with everything I could possibly muster. His heart rate began to waver. I could feel his head emerge. The doctor was concerned about his heart and mentioned using the vacuum to finish the delivery. A primal instinct I have never known took over and began pushing with such fierceness. The doctor looked me in the eye and said, “If you are going to do this, make this one really count.” One more push and the sweet sound of my baby crying was heard. I have never felt so empowered in all of my life. The birth of my daughter went nothing like this.

The past couple of months we’ve just been settling in to being a family of four. I’ve been overwhelmed many moments by feelings of gratefulness and blessing, and I’ve also been overwhelmed by feelings of exhaustion. Our daughter has taken on the role of big sister so beautifully. She is finally spreading her wings a little bit and gaining some independence. Our little Mr Jaxson is cool as a cucumber, the opposite of his sister. I had heard about babies like him. It was an odd feeling when we brought him home and he just slept instead of cried like his sister. He came into the world basically sleeping through the night which is so phenomenal. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall, but he’s just a happy, smiley, laid back little guy so far. It’s been a learning curve going places with two kiddos. It’s a little intimidating honestly and didn’t help that he was not a fan of his car seat until recently.

So while I’m busy raising these two little precious peanuts I am indeed still taking many, many photos. My sessions have shifted in the years. I originally got into photography many moons ago to photograph my dog, Kippy. I loved street photography and photographing life in the real world. While I enjoy the cute posed thing when I can get it, and I do have studio lights and backdrops and soft boxes and umbrellas, my camera just goes along in the diaper bag these days. I click fast and try to soak in the moments. Here is a bit of our past couple of months:

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